Good Intentions

Have you ever heard the saying “Hell is paved with good intentions”? The other half of that quote should be “and also furnished”. A while ago I was fortunate enough to receive some sound advice from a guy I once fooled around with from time to time. One evening as I was looking for my undergarments that somehow mysteriously fell off upon his arrival; I stated that I wasn’t intending to have sex with him. His response was that I never intended not too. Now I had two items to find, my panties and my face. But he had a good point, in my mind I was confident that I was not going to give in and sleep with him because he was the most awful guy and truly didn’t deserve my time let alone my goodies. But I hadn’t made the effort either to assure that he didn’t receive them (my goodies and my time), but the intentions were there.  

So who was to blame? Was it me for my lack of preparation, or him for his keen instinct at being an opportunist? My encounter with him that day taught me an immense amount about who I was, and the women I wanted to be. It taught me that sometimes it’s better to keep myself company. Being single is a choice, not a death sentence. You can choose to be with anyone you want, but it doesn’t mean they are the right person for you, or you can make the choice to use the opportunity you have to be single to figure out some bad emotional habits... and to hopefully unlearn them.

I learned how to sort out what I wanted and felt from what other people told me I should want and feel. Sometimes your friends have the best intentions, but not the best advice. I learned how to balance self doubt and loneliness with generosity and significance. I never intended on being a doormat, so I had to learn why I kept being attracted to emotionally broken men who never intended on treating me the respect I’m am entitled to. I am single but I am not alone, and until I realized the difference I would have always intended on meeting a nice guy.